Ever since I have been choreographing on almost a daily basis, I've gone through a lot of emotional ups and downs. I never fully grasped the extremes that you sometimes have to embrace in order to choreograph well. I suppose not everyone has to. But in my mind, dance without soul is dance without meaning. I just finished a good chunk of choreo right now and I am in tears. I'm not really sure why, but it's one of those things that just happens. They say that trauma and emotions get stored in our muscles and that when you do an intense workout or something that requires muscle memory, these emotions, either negative or positive, can resurface. I wonder if this has something to do with this phenomenon.
I am so unbelievably thankful for the gift of inspiration. It seems that I have a steady stream of it, and have since I began choreographing back in high school, even though I wasn't dancing at all for several years. I would still get choreography ideas in my mind when I heard certain music, and it would just flow out of my mind. I really don't know what to make of this, but I am going to keep using it until there's nothing left...
2009 has taught me that life without art is life not worth living. I have always felt this way, but this year really solidified it for me. I'm sometimes surprised when other dancers or artists take so much for granted, or make huge episodes out of petty complications. Sure, we all want our art to look perfect, but sometimes it's just easy to lose sight of what really matters.
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