So What?

Every now and then we lose sight of why we are doing something. My grad school mentor always told us to look for the broader social application of why we chose a paper topic- the "So What?" of the idea.

About 10-11 months ago I embarked on a much more intensive course of studying the Middle Eastern components in bellydance. Lots more folkloric, and more Oriental style classes. I wanted to do this primarily because I wanted to understand 1.The meaning behind certain folkloric gestures/props, etc. and 2.I wanted an Eastern-style comprehension of music and musicality to a much better extent than I already possessed it. I will sheepishly admit that a third reason is money- in my geographical area, it is much easier to get private gigs if you have at least some proficiency in Oriental styles.

As I progress through this journey, I am trying to grasp at applications of this dance to fit with my life, in this society, with my background, and lately things just haven't been fitting together.

Why is understanding and accurately representing Middle Eastern cultures important to me? Why should it be? I am unable to answer this at this time.

Why should I care about trying to alleviate ignorance or bridge cultural gaps? Why should I assume that efforts in this department would make a large-scale difference?

Why in the age of Islamaphobia, should I try to reach out and end cultural fears through art? Is an endeavor like that ever likely to be successful? And pardon my French, but what the bloody fuck does art have to do with religion and politics? Us dancing on a stage doesn't stop the fact that terrorists or the governments who oppose them or religious practitioners are acting like assholes!

I also can't answer this. These are no longer self-answering questions.

I feel like the excuse of "oh, this is just too foreign to me as an American" is also a cop-out. That doesn't cover it accurately. I grew up around Arab, Israeli and other Middle Eastern people, so assumptions of cultural Otherness aren't really going to cut it here.

Why? Why am i doing this? "I love to dance" doesn't answer the cultural questions in a satisfactory manner anymore.